3 Bears stories
The El Dorado County Sheriff’s Office responded to an alarm early Sunday morning to the Ice Cream Shop at Camp Richardson in South Lake Tahoe. You never know what you will encounter after Saturday night in tourist town. So deputies went with flashlights and guns at the ready. There was evidence of a break in and rambling noises inside as if someone was tossing the furniture. The officers called out but got no response and after a few minutes of quieter noises, they cautiously entered the building. In the twilight of the store’s front window they saw someone behind the ice cream counter. They put their flashlight beams on the intruder who was gobbling strawberry ice cream as evidenced by the drool running down his face. The bear was undaunted by the police and their flashlights and continued to scoop the strawberry vanilla from the drum into his mouth. As the police marveled at the scene they decided it was a great time for the picture here. After they got the shot they wanted, they started yelling and waving their arms and the ice cream interloper decided the neighborhood was too noisy and left. Such is Northern California especially as the days get shorter and the weather cooler.
It is not the bear’s fault that they are big and aggressive. They have been corrupted by the high fat-sugar syndicate that controls the human world. Even the purest Ursine hardliner will succumb to the relentless commercials, half eaten lunch time refuse and those aromas. Sadly, one mother bear in Alaska was foraging with her cubs for 100% natural grubs and berries. As they sat on the side of the road a vicious, seductive donut delivery truck stopped and left its doors open to seduce these helpless pristine gifts of nature. “And then all of a sudden, I heard, like, movement in the van. Then I heard her breaking open the packages of doughnuts, and then the babies there followed suit. And they just started eating all the doughnuts. So we tried to get them out. We were banging on the van. No luck. The police sounded off their loud sirens and flashed their LED lights. They were in there for a good, 20 minutes and when they got out to get out of the van, and they just kind of lingered in front of the store taunting the police and the media.” Spokes-animals for the Ursine Rebellion have made it clear these beautiful, natural animals have been goaded into this behavior by the occupiers in their kingdom and this is just the natural response.
Seattle Kraken forward John Hayden and the team’s blue-haired troll mascot named Buoy were combining a fishing trip with a promotional video for the team with the mascot to be wading in the fishing stream. The players were on a PR promotion trip for youth hockey in the Katmai National Park area. Knee-deep in a shallow river, they wore waders and other fly-fishing gear. Hayden had been fishing, but a guide quickly took the rod from him. It seems their crew and perhaps some of the fish they were pulling out had attracted the local grizzly bear’s ire. The bear came charging from the far shore at Bouy who decided it was time to go out of the water- post haste. That seemed to satisfy the bear and gave the crew a good laugh at the entire situation. The video below shows the action.
Bear Necessities
Who should carry the bear mace when hiking with friends?
The slowest runner.
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
Why did the bear with alopecia go to his General Practitioner?
To get a re-furral.
Authorities in Lake Tahoe are on the lookout for three bears that have collectively broken into more than 30 homes. Current leads suggest that the bears’ location to be somewhere in the Goldilocks section.
August 21st Birthdays
1975 – Alicia Witt, 1950 – Loretta Devine, 1990 – Hayden Panettiere, 1941 – Jackie DeShannon
1938 – Kenny Rogers, 1936 – Wilt Chamberlain, 1987 – Usain Boldt, 1958 – Steve Case