Boaring nights glowing now
While Germany is running out of electricity, they still are glowing. In the forests of Germany’s southern states and Austria, irate radioactive boars are wreaking havoc. The hogs don’t exactly glow in the dark, they’re not harmless, either. They’re infused with so much radioactive material that eating their meat would be a pretty bad idea. These exciting boars (wild pigs) are native to Germany. While they currently are attacking garbage and feed-lots these animals have been around “forever,” there are just more than ever. It is estimated that over two million wild boar roam Germany and Austria, frequently wreaking havoc on the local wildlife, destroying crops and causing thousands of car accidents each year across central Europe. Hunters don’t want them because of their radioactivity: you can’t eat them and even trophy mounting them may be questionable. But those southern Boars are the worst because in addition to being prodigious reproducers they have a body chemistry matched with their appetite that makes them radiation collectors.
A recent study found that breathless glow behind the radioactive boars is good old-fashioned nuclear bombs. While above ground nuclear weapons testing stopped decades ago; Tests performed on the boars’ meat showed that the beasts’ flesh contains high levels of cesium-135. The cesium-135 particles descended on to Germany’s forest, where truffle mushrooms in the ground sucked them up in increasing amounts. Truffles are the boar’s favorite food. Achtung!
Meanwhile in Florida
Every morning, 82-year-old Edward Wells sends a message to his daughter. “I text her and tell her I’m still alive,” Wells said. Then, with an Ensure in one hand, he settles in for an afternoon of jigsaw puzzles. So, when his daughter got a phone call on Thursday, she knew something was up. “I need you to get the hell over here.” Stacy Wells explained. “Life got crazy!” At first, Edward thought his home was being bombed. His quiet evening had been shattered by an unexpected visitor — a 300-pound wild boar that smashed through his sliding glass door. Edward’s dog started to bark at the big pig but the big animal chased Bailey outside. Then porky decided to settle in the living room himself. “For about 45 minutes, the pig just stood there,” Edward said. He called Lee County deputies, who rushed in to help. Body camera video shows deputies face-to-face with the boar, trying their best to rope the big pig again and again.
Eventually, the boar ran out the door he had broken through and the police could not catch up with him. Bailey the dog is doing just fine after some stitches, and Ed has gone back to business as usual…At least that evening was not boring, or was it?
Radioactive rubbish reports
If you wear a radioactive belt,
you end up with nuclear waist.
What do you call a boar that sounds like a horse?
Neighbor.
Last week I was telling my husband about how some religions believe that when you die you get reborn, but as a totally different animal. He said he thought he’d like to be reincarnated as a boar. I said, “You evidently weren’t listening.”
Here it is, the Chinese year of the rat has begun…
And here I am still writing year of the boar on my checks.
January 9th Birthdays
1941 – Joan Baez, 1998 – Lauren McClain, 1994 – Ashley Argota, 1951 – Crystal Gayle
1974 – Omari Hardwick, 1955 – J. K. Simmons, 1966 – Dave Matthews, 1935 – Bob Denver