February 15 Humor

@ I was shopping in the leather goods section of an expensive department store. I was admiring some beautiful but very expensive luggage. The clerk came over asked if I would like any help. I replied, ” I am just looking now, I will be back when I am a millionaire.” His response was quick, “Okay, we will be open until six.”

@ I believe in honesty and integrity. Someone asked me what I would do if I found a million dollars on the street. I said that if it belonged to a poor person I would give it back.

# A very important Russian government official was riding through the Balkans when he saw a farmer out in his field on his knees praying. He stopped the car and stomped over to the man. “Why are you wasting your time praying when you should be plowing and planting for the party?”     The farmer answered, “But Commissar, I was praying for the party.”      “Huh, Praying for the party. Years ago you probably prayed for the Czar.”      “Yes, I did, Commissar.”    “Well, look what happened to the Czar.”   The farmer smiled and said, “Right.”