July 11 Humor

* A marine recruiter stopped in a little southern town and noticed that on several trees there were targets painted with bullet holes dead center. Being curious he looked around and sure enough there were similar bull’s-eyes on junk cars and old buildings. He decided this marksman might be a good candidate for the marines. He asked about the shooter and was directed to the town fool. Incredulously, he asked, “how did you learn to shoot so straight?” The fool answered, “It is easy I just shoot first and then paint the targets afterward.”

@ Three men ran into the streets after robbing a Santa Anna, California store and like the horse thieves of the old Western movies fired their weapons in the air in celebration. When the men saw an approaching police car, one robber quickly thrust his gone into his pants and the gun went off. He shot himself in the genitals.

“Well, old timer tell me please what do you attribute your great health to?”  The old Farmer leaned back and replied,  “I reckon I had a good start on most people because I was born before germs were discovered and thereby had a lot less to worry about.”