August 27 Humor

# Murray was planning a bar mitzvah for his son, like nothing anyone had ever seen. Invitees would be flown first-class to Africa and mounted on elephants to trudge through the remote jungles to an extraordinarily beautiful savanna where the ceremony would be held. The procession ambled through the dense brush for hours until it suddenly was held up. Nobody in the back could see the problem, so they called forward, elephant to elephant, to see what the holdup was. The answer came back  relayed rider to rider, all the way to the rear of the procession, “We had to stop. There’s another bar mitzvah up ahead.”

@ A man was driving through Oklahoma oil country wondering at all the oil rigs poking into the ground and up into the air. He stopped for a bite and got talking to one of the local men. He asked if it was true that many of the farmers had gotten rich by finding oil on their farms. The man said it was true and the oil business just took over the farms. The visitor asked, “Do you own a farm around here?” “Yeah” came the downbeat reply. “Are there any oil wells on it?” “Yeah, we have three good wells and they are producing several hundred barrels a day.”  The impressed visitor asked, “What are you going to do with all the money you are getting from your property now?” The farmer answered, “I am gonna buy me a farm that ain’t got no oil on it.”

* The symphony orchestra and our union reached an agreement with the airlines about which instruments we could carry on board and which had to be shipped as luggage beneath in the cargo compartment. As a cellist, I was dismayed to find my delicate expensive wooden instrument was consigned to the rougher handling and cold temperatures of the baggage compartment. I solved the problem, cello in hand, I approached the flight attendant at the gate and asked, “May I bring my clarinet on board”? Scanning her list of approved instruments, she replied, “Clarinets are okay. Have a good trip”, and smiling waved me on.