April 19 Humor

* I went to a department store to buy my wife’s requested birthday present, a jogging suit and sneakers. I selected the footwear easily, but I couldn’t find a jogging suit I liked. So I picked out a nice silk nighty instead. When I handed the two purchases to the sales clerk, she studied both gifts and asked, “is it the thrill of the chase?”

 * I went to the sporting goods store to buy a jogging suit for my wife who was an avid jogger. Not knowing the size I explained she is five feet seven inches tall and weighs about 115 pounds. The clerk reposnded, “Maybe something in a size ten.” I said that sounded pretty big to me. She called out to a lady clerk across the store, “What would you call a gal that is 5′ 7 and 115 pounds?”  Came the reply, “Lucky.”

 * A gas company meter reader had an apprentice with him one day and they were teasing each other about their age difference. After reading a meter in the basement of a house the senior guy challenged the young guy to a foot race to the next house. As soon as they broke the door they took off running at top speed. When they stopped around the corner they were surprised to find the lady from the last house running right behind them. They asked her what she was doing and she replied, “I don’t know, but when I saw the two men from the gas company run away from my house, I figured I had better get out of there too.’