April 22nd Jokes

* I got into a lot of trouble as a kid. I made counterfeit monopoly money and sold fake ID’s to people who wanted to get Medicare early.

+ When a tornado hit our shopping mall, my friend Greg and I were worried about his parents, who owned a store in the complex. We hopped into my banged up, rusty Pinto and made our way out there. It looked like a war zone. Cars were torn apart and the news crews and the firemen were running all over. After checking on Greg’s parents we left the chaotic scene. That night on a TV newscast about the tornado, the announcer said, and here’s a sample of some of the damage done to the vehicles in the parking lot. The camera moved in for a close-up of my Pinto.

* A plumber was hired to fix a leak. He came in with his canvas tool bag and when he opened it, money started flowing out all over the floor. 20’s, 50’s even $100 bills were falling on the floor. The embarrassed plumber stuffed the money back into the bag and started to go back out to the truck, “Can you believe this?” he says disgusted. “I brought in the wrong bag.”