April 27th Jokes

A state trooper stopped Theresa May on Interstate 75, and noticed as he was checking her drivers license, that she had a concealed carry permit, and was a member of the NRA. Somewhat surprised, he said, got any guns with you ma’am?  She said, yes, a 45 Smith & Wesson in the glove compartment, a 357 magnum in the console and a 38 special in my purse.  The trooper said, LADY! what are you scared of?  She said…. NOT A DAMN THING!

Sam showed up at a revival meeting seeking help. “I need you to pray for my hearing,”  he tells the preacher. The preacher calls him up to the front and puts his fingers in the Sam’s ears and prays and prays and prays. When he is done praying, he asks Sam, “How is your hearing now?” “I don’t know.” says Sam. “I don’t go to court on till next Tuesday.”

“Due to the bad economy, the Queen of England’s salary will be frozen for the next four years. In fact, to make ends meet the queen is thinking of having a yard sale. Getting rid of a lot of stuff they don’t use anymore, like Canada.”