April 28 Humor

* Unfailingly courteous to fans, Jay Leno always signs autographs, poses for pictures and somehow finds time to call many of the people who write to him. “I called one woman,” says Jay and I ask, “is Susan there?” “No, who is this?” “This is Jay Leno.” “Well, this is her mother. What do you want?” “She wrote me a letter.” I replied. “Oh, well..”  she answered. “She writes to every crackpot on television.”

* Jay Leno was accosted one day by a mugger in central park. The man pulled a gun on him and then recognized who he was. “Aren’t you that TV guy on the Tonight Show?” “Yes I am.” The mugger snapped, “All right put your hands up, but don’t try any funny business.”

Two sailors were adrift on a raft of planks from their sunken ship. They were sunburned,  hungry and tired and had given up hope of rescue. One got on his knees and began to shout a prayer. “Oh Lord, I have been worthless in my life. I have been unkind to my wife. I have abandoned my children and lived sinfully, but If you will save me, I promise…” Just then the other sailor shouted, “Hold it, I think I see land.”