April 28th Jokes

* Unfailingly courteous to fans, Jay Leno always signs autographs, poses for pictures and somehow finds time to call many of the people who write to him. “I called one woman,” says Jay and I ask, “is Susan there?” “No, who is this”?    “This is Jay Leno.” “Well, this is her mother. What do you want?”   “She wrote me a letter,” I replied. “Oh, well,” she answered. “She writes to every crackpot on television.”

+ The captain and the chief engineer argued about who was more important to the ship, they decided they’d swap places to find out. After a couple of hours, the captain emerged from the engine room completely covered with oil and sweat, and confronted the chief on the bridge wildly waving a monkey wrench, “You have to come down, I can’t make her go.” “Of course you can’t,” replied the chief. “She’s aground.”

Hubby asked, “Why don’t you play golf with Suzy anymore?”   “Would you play with someone who writes down the wrong score, and moves the ball when you are not looking?” the wife replied. “Well, neither will Suzy.”