Are you sure you tied up the boat?

Are you sure you tied up the boat?

Stormy weather with lots of rain freed a pontoon boat to float downstream and get stopped and balance on the edge of the wall of a 50 foot high dam. No one is aboard, but emergency officials said conditions are preventing them from removing it. The Town of Columbus Fire Department posted drone photos showing the boat partially hanging over the edge of the Turner Shoals Dam on Lake Adger.

Dead ahead, through the pitch-black night, a captain sees a light on a collision course with his ship. Reaching for the radio, he says: “Change your course ten degrees east.” “Change yours ten degrees west,” comes the reply. The captain responds, “I’m a navy captain! Change your course, sir!” “I’m a seaman second class,” the next reply comes back. “Change your course, sir.” The captain is furious. “I’m a battleship! I’m not changing course!” The man replies, “I’m in a lighthouse. Your call.”

When my brother Tom bought a new sailboat, he filled out an application for boat insurance. He was asked questions about the boat and himself and was instructed to include a recent photo. He and his wife sifted through a stack of snapshots and selected one they felt appropriate. Not long after sending in the form, Tom received a letter back from the insurer: “Dear Sir, thank you for sending the fine photo of yourself. We do admire your mustache. Now, could you send is an equally appealing picture of the vessel we are to insure?”

An ‘ol salt swaggers into a bar. He has a ship’s wheel stuffed into the front of his trousers. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a ship’s wheel in your trousers!”
The ‘ol salt says, “Aye mate and it’s driving me nuts!”

A very nervous first time crew member says to the skipper, “Do boats like this sink very often?” “Not too often,” replied the skipper. “Usually, it’s only once.”