August 12th Humor

* How do you make an Elephant fly? First you start with a very large zipper.

@ For her surgery to fuse some vertebrae in her back my niece planned ahead. She knew that she would have to wear a brace with four steel rods screwed into Her skull all attached to a rigid upper body cast during her recovery, so she brought to the hospital several large sweatshirts which were cut to fit over the appliances. On her first trip out of her hospital room, she ventured to the cafeteria wearing a shirt wearing the message, “I’d lose my head if it wasn’t screwed on.”

God calls Bill Gates, Putin and Barack into an urgent meeting to inform them that the world will end the week and they are to relay the message to their people. Putin goes back to Russia and tells his people there is bad news and terrible news the bad news is that there really is a God, and the terrible news is that the world will end next week. Obama holds a press conference in Washington and tells the public that there is good news and bad news. The good news is that there really is a God, and the bad news is that the world will end next week. Bill Gates returns to Redmon holds a major press conference. He tells all that there is good news and wonderful news. The good news is that God knows what a very important person I am, and the wonderful news is that we don’t have to worry about updating Windows 10.