August 13 Humor

* The new school had a new flagpole and to create an event they asked for a marine color guard to appear and hoist the flag for the first time. The school secretary asked for the squad and then asked the commanding officer if the marines liked little children. The officer replied, “Ma’am, if I tell them to, they will like children.”

I work in a hospital admitting office which is usually busy and often we do not have time for niceties, but try to process each one as quickly as we can. A senior lady came in and stood rather confused looking around. Someone told her to take a form and fill out and we would call her as soon as she was done. She obeyed and sat down with the paperwork and began to fill in the blanks to the best of her ability. When she was done she waited to be called to the desk and I asked her to take out her insurance cards and started entering date into the computer. I got her doctor’s name and the list of medications she was taking, After the preliminaries, I asked “And what brings you to the hospital today?” She answered, “I came to visit my neighbor here, but this has taken so long, I don’t think I will have any time to stay.”

# One of the staff came into the emergency room shaking his head. When we asked what the problem was he explained, there was a crazy old man standing in front of the vending machines. He would put a dollar in the machine and when the change would come out he would yell “jackpot” and put another dollar in. Later that night we saw the vending machine man there servicing the machines and we commented, “You are sure working late”. He said, “Yah, I had to come out because one these machines is giving a buck and a half change for every dollar bill you put in.”