August 15 Humor

# Late at night one of the inmates at an insane asylum yelled out, “I am Napoleon.” Across the hall someone yelled back, “How do you know?”    Napoleon said, “God told me.”    From another room a voice yelled out, “I did not.”

# The patient was given the good news after years of therapy and medication the doctor declared him cured of his delusion that he was Napoleon.  “Oh wonderful”, the man exclaimed, “May I use the phone, I need to call Josephine and tell her the news.”

#  Three ex-US presidents are caught in a tornado, and sent off to the land of OZ. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the great wizard. “What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?”  Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly: “I’ve come for some courage.”   “No problem.” says the wizard. “Who comes next before the great and powerful Oz?” Up stepped George Bush sadly and said, “I’m told by the American people that I need a heart.”   “I’ve heard it’s true,” said the Wizard. “Consider it done” and there was a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there looking around, but does not say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asked, “What do you want?” Clinton asks, “Is Dorothy here?”