August 16 Humor

* An astronomer showed a picture of the Andromeda Nebula to a magazine art director. It was a dizzying swirls of dots of light and clouds of gas. The editor said, “That is gorgeous. Do you think we can get a shot of it from another angle?”

* I was a football star at Valpariso university and at graduation time I was approached by several NFL scouts and reporters from  the various sports publications. I got used to handling their questions and interviews.

One evening the phone rang at the frat house and one of the  brothers said, “Tyler the phone call is for you, it is Sports Illustrated.” I took the call nonchalantly while a crowd gathered and jabbered about what could my next recognition.

After I got off the phone they stood around and asked. “Will you be in next weeks issue? Will you be on the cover? What did they want?”

Embarrassed, I explained Sports Illustrated had called to get me to renew my subscription.

While attending a convention, I breakfasted in a café, next to two gray-haired men from the same symposium. I overheard one remark, “You know this is the first time in 40 years we’ve gone to one of these things without our wives”. His pal leaned  back, contemplating what such freedom might portend. “I know’, he said, laying his menu aside. “Let’s go have biscuits and gravy”.