August 17th Humor

* One day an elderly lady was in her garden and she overheard two men working on a telephone pole nearby. The men were obviously having a disagreement and expressing themselves in very colorful language. The lady called the phone company and complained. The men were asked to describe the incident for the report. They said “Me and Joe Wilson were on the job. I was up on the pole and dropped a pair of pliers which hit Joe on the head and bounced to his shoulder.” He looked up at me and said, “Harry, you really must be more careful.”

@ A banker approaches the pearly gates sweating and struggling with a very heavy suitcase. St. Peter greets him and says “Set down the suitcase and, come on in.” “No way,” barks the banker, I have to bring it in with me.” “What could possibly be in the suitcase that is so important you brought into eternity with you?” asked Peter. The banker opens the suitcase to reveal 50 gold bricks. Saint Peter’s jaw drops open and he asks, “You brought pavement?”

The morals today are so lax that the only way to avoid sex is to get married.