August 1st Humor

Q: Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey, the most hazardous waste sites?  A: New Jersey got first pick!

# While taking the census I called a woman who refused to state her age. I told her I was permitted by law to ask the question. “I guess 85 is about right,” I said, I pretended to write it on the form. “Don’t you dare,” snapped the woman. “I’m only 68.”

@ Hypochondriac that I am, I constantly log on to the Internet to self diagnose my latest ailment. But even I knew it was time to lighten up the day I typed in the keywords for liver disorders. That led me to a medical site. With growing  alarm, I realized I had each of the first seven symptoms. Suddenly,  I felt much better when I came to symptom number eight: “The feeling of lethargy- No longer enjoys romping and wagging its tail.”