August 27th Humor

* The symphony orchestra and our union reached an agreement with the airlines about which instruments we could carry on board and which had to be shipped as luggage beneath in the cargo compartment. As a cellist, I was dismayed to find my delicate expensive wooden instrument was consigned to the rougher handling and cold temperatures of the baggage compartment. I solved the problem, cello in hand, I approached the flight attendant at the gate and asked, “May I bring my clarinet on board?” Scanning her list of approved instruments, she replied, “Clarinets are okay. Have a good trip,” and smiling waved me on.

% The visitors at the zoo were surprised to see a cage labeled “Coexistence” and in the cage were a couple of lions and few lambs. They asked the zoo keeper how this could work out and he explained it was pretty easily done as long as you added fresh lambs now and then.

# Murray was planning a bar mitzvah for his son, like nothing anyone had ever seen. Invitees would be flown first-class to Africa and mounted on elephants to trudge through the remote jungles to an extraordinarily beautiful savanna where the ceremony would be held. The procession ambled through the dense brush for hours until it suddenly was held up. Nobody in the back could see the problem, so they called forward, elephant to elephant, to see what the holdup was. The answer came back  relayed rider to rider, all the way to the rear of the procession, “We had to stop. There’s another bar mitzvah up ahead.”