August 4 Humor

* When I was a trained, yet inexperienced, radioman in the Coast Guard, we were sent to sea to ride out hurricane Hazel. As the cutter crash through 30 foot waves, I held on the rail with one hand while grasping the radio receiver with the other. “Scholz” I heard our bosun’s mate shout over the roaring storm. “What are you doing with that radio?” “I’ve got it in case we have to call for help, sir.” I answered,  “Scholz we are the blankety-blank  help.”

Sydney, is almost 90 years old, weighs maybe 100 pounds soaking wet, walks up behind the head lumberjack, taps him on the shoulder, and sad “Excuse me, I like a job chopping down trees.”   Bob Boyer a 6 foot lumberjack, made of 275 pounds of muscle, turns around and  looks at it a little old Sydney and says, “You’ve got to be kidding. This is a tough job. Not for little old man like you. Besides where did you ever worked before chopping timber?” “Well, I’ll have you know,” says Sidney, “I used to work in the Sahara forest.” Lumberjack looks at him and says, “You mean the Sahara desert?” Sidney says, “Oh well now…”

# Every morning at our group coffee break we listened to the sad stories of our newlywed colleague misadventures in the kitchen. We all tried to pitch in with some advice and recipes.  One day, she asked us for step by step instructions to prepare sweet potatoes which was one of her new husband’s requests. She said, “I have finally been able to make them sweet, now how do I make them orange?”