Be a careful Kisser
Sam Quilliam was out fishing and caught a 6” Dover Sole fish. The fish was too small to keep, he was about to throw back when he thought of giving it a kiss would make a cute picture. He explained his kiss had been inspired by the Australian television fisherman Rex Hunt, who often plants a kiss on his catches. “I picked it up and went to give it a kiss before I threw it back. I squeezed it and like a bar of soap it jumped out of my hand and into my mouth. It basically swam straight down my throat. I ran round the pier like a headless chicken and then passed out. It was terrifying.” Sam collapsed and stopped breathing his fishing buddies Steve Perry and Matt Holmes jumped in performing CPR, as directed by an emergency medical dispatcher on the line. Steve Perry said: “It was just sheer panic, it was horrendous. We reacted on our instincts. Matt was pumping his chest and I was doing the breaths. He was dead, his heart had stopped. I was so relieved when he came round. EMT arrived and using McGills forceps down Sam’s throat, after six attempts the fish came out in one piece and to our amazement it was a whole Dover Sole. “Steve and Matt and the paramedics did a great job to save my life. I could have easily died and I feel very lucky to be here. I feel much better now, it’s like beyond winning the lottery. Me and my family are really grateful.” Turning to paramedic Matt Harrison, who helped save him, he added: “Thank you, you are a credit to the NHS.” Quilliam said his ordeal would not put him off fishing. “I’m much better now. Once I am back at work and fit, I will probably get back fishing again,” he said.
Real Fish Stories
Wally & Sven go on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. Sven says, “The way I figure it, will be, each one of fish cost us $400”. Wally says, “Well, at that price it’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more than we did.”
Wife after returning from fishing trip with husband was talking with her neighbor: “I did everything all wrong again today — I talked too much and too loud. I used the wrong bait. I reeled in too soon and… I caught more than he did.”
How can a woman say she’s been shopping, when she hasn’t bought anything? Why does the man say he’s been fishing when he has not caught anything?
A Ukrainian and a Russian were fishing on opposite sides of the river. The Ukrainian was pretty steadily pulling in fish after fish while the Communist just watched and wiggled his line occasionally. Finally, he yelled across, “Why are you catching fish after fish and on this side, I am not getting a nibble?” The Ukrainian thought for a minute and said “Maybe on that side they are afraid to open their mouths.”
February 18th Birthdays
1991 – Malese Jow, 1958 – Vanna White, 1968 – Molly Ringwald, 1991 – Park Shin-hye
1955 – John Travolta, 1992 – Le’Veon Bell, 1991 – Jeremy Allen White, 1964 – Matt Dillon