December 1 Humor

* Since I rode a bus to work in the early morning and it was often dark when I was picked up at the stop, I came up with a way to be seen.   I put reflectors on my lunch box and wore a bright orange jogger’s vest that had flashing LED’s on it. The next morning the bus went right past me. I ran down to the next stop and caught up with him. I asked, “didn’t you see me?”  The driver replied, “I saw you, but I thought you were a road sign.”

@ After a priest performed a baptism at Sunday mass, one proud family spent a lot of time taking photographs. A month later the priest was again performing baptisms when he noticed the same family at the baptismal fount. “Did I not baptize your child a few weeks ago”? He asked the parents. “Yes”, the mother responded, “but the pictures didn’t turn out”.

@ A customer at the bar orders a drink and then he looks into his pocket, then he orders another drink, sips on it and looks in his pocket then he orders another drink, looks in his pocket and orders another, looks in his pocket and so on. The bartender asks, “What are you doing?  What is it your pocket?” The guy says. “It’s a picture of my wife. When she starts looking good to me, I know it’s time to go home.”