December 19 Humor

@ My cousin went to a furniture store to apply for a salesman job opening they had advertised. When he got there for the interview there were three people ahead of him. While they took their turns being interviewed he started talking to shoppers and sold $2600 of furniture. He got the job.

@ A computer software salesman dies and sees St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter tells the salesman that he can choose between heaven and hell. First he shows him heaven, where people wear white robes play harps and float around all day. “Dull”, says the salesman. Next St. Peter shows him hell: toga parties, good food and wine, people looking as though they were having a great time. “I’ll take hell,” he says. The software salesman enters the gates of hell and immediately set upon my dozens of demons, who poke him with pitchforks and the salesman demands as Satan walks past, “What happened to the party I saw going on?” Satan replies, “You must’ve seen our demo.”

@ Two elderly women were trying on shoes in our store. When I slipped the shoe onto one woman’s foot, the end of my tie got caught beneath her heel. Unaware of my predicament, she stood up and  started walking toward the mirror. For a few seconds, I found myself crawling along the floor beside her trying to get her attention. “Look Martha”, her friend said. “He wants to go home with you.”