December 2 Humor

* The patient was given the good news after years of therapy and medication the doctor declared him cured of his delusion that he was Napoleon.  “Oh wonderful,” the man exclaimed, “May I use the phone, I need to call Josephine and tell her the news.”

* Late at night one of the inmates at an insane asylum yelled out, “I am Napoleon.” Across the hall someone yelled back, “How do you know?”    Napoleon said, “God told me.”    From another room a voice yelled out, “I did not.”

@ A man walked into the barber shop and asked for a shave. At that the apprentice jumped up and asked, “May I shave him, it will be good practice?” The  master barber thought for a minute and said, “OK, but be careful, don’t cut yourself.”