December 20 Humor

* There was a demonstration at the vitamin store. The man selling the latest herbal wonder, promised along with virility,  good looks, and long life.  He said, “Look at me, strong and healthy at 97 years old.”  One of the incredulous observers ask the salesman’s young assistant, “Is he really as old as he swears?”  The young man replied, ” I honestly cannot say how old he is, I have only been working with him for 72 of those years.”

* A kennel advertised a talking dog for sale for $25. A man did not believe it, but came to check it out. He buyer said, “Who are you kidding with this talking dog thing. What is the catch?”   At that point the sad dog looked up at the buyer and explained. “Please rescue me for only $25 bucks. This owner is mean to me and never feeds me or walks me. I have not been to the vet in years. I was once the fastest rising trick dog in the circus and I served in army and got three ribbons in Desert storm.”   The buyer was aghast he said, “this dog really does talk. Why are you selling him for only $25?” The owner explained, “I cannot stand his lies.”

@ The regular gas station I go to, took away their free air hose and put in a machine that charged a quarter. I complained to the clerk that it was sad that they took away something that was free for years. The clerk excused himself saying, “It’s not my fault, It’s inflation.”