December 29 Humor

* If you are a movie director, how do you get a wild buffalo to attack a man without endangering either creature? It turned out in the movie “Dances with Wolves” they had a stunt Buffalo that loved Oreo cookies. So in the scene where the buffalo comes charging at the hero, the real action is the behind the star in a big pile of Oreos waiting.

@ Working at the post office, I’m used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded with my “calmest” voice, “What’s the trouble?”  “I went out this morning,” she began, “and when I came home I found a card that says the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing.”   After apologizing, I got her parcel.   “Oh, good,” she gushed. “We’ve been waiting for these for ages.”   “What is it?” I asked.   “My husband’s new hearing aids.”

@ Sam showed up at a revival meeting seeking help. “I need you to pray for my hearing’,”  he tells the preacher. The preacher calls him up to the front and puts his fingers in the Sam’s ears and prays and prays and prays. When he is done praying, he asks Sam, “How is your hearing now?”   “I don’t know,” says Sam. “I don’t go to court on ’til next Tuesday.”