December 30 Humor

@ The man was taking a break from skiing at Vail. He was sucking on a hot chocolate at the bar when a young couple came up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and they asked, “Are you Henry Mancini.” The composer gathered his best “Aw shucks” smile and said, “Well, yes, I am.” The tourist held out his hand and said,  “You dropped your credit card.”

# Watching television make me feel really insecure. I found out that our highways are not safe, our houses are not safe, and the public parks are not safe. There is good news though my underarms are completely protected.

* A dedicated union steward at a convention in Las Vegas decides to go into a brothel. He asked the madam, “Is this a union house?”   ” No, it’s not.”   “So, how much the girls earn?”  The madam says well, you pay me $100 house gets $80 and the girl $20.” The man says, “That’s terrible” and he stomps out. Finally, he finds a brothel where the madam says, “Yes, this is a union house?”  The union steward asks “If I pay $100, what does a girl get?”   “She gets $80.”   “That’s great,”  he says, “I’d like Tiffany.” The madam replies,  “I’m sure you would, but Sandra over here has seniority.”