* We subscribe to two daily papers. Once we went away for two weeks vacation and forgot to stop delivery. On our return, a neighbor told me he had taken care of the problem. “Thanks, Paul” I said “did you cancel them?” “No, I’m no fool”, he replied. “I canceled mine.”
* My neighborhood was so tough: We had criminals attacking people with chewed off shotguns. The school newspaper had an obituary column.
* I was reading the paper before supper and when we sat down to eat I told my wife that I had read something interesting in the newspaper. “That most car accidents happen within 5 miles of home.” She stopped, cocked her head in thought and asked, “Do you think we should move?”