February 14th Jokes

Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine’s Day. ‘Yes,’ came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, ‘I’ve bought her a belt and a bag.’ ‘That was very kind of you,’ Jim added, ‘I hope she appreciated the thought.’ Tony smiled as he replied, ‘So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.’

It was fall harvest, so my brother and sister-in-law took their grandsons, Brandon and Connor to visit their first farm. Brandon and had never had a candy apple, so Nancy bought one for him. “Connor would you like one?” She asked. “Say no,” Brandon whispered to his brother after taking a bite. “There’s a real apple in there.”

@ I work as a receptionist at a doctor’s office. Last Valentine’s Day, I arrived there to find a mystery man pacing up and down holding a package. As I got out of the car, he declared warmly, “I have something for you.” Expecting a present form my secret admirer, I excitedly ripped it open the bundle. It was a urine sample.