February 19th Jokes

* Our daughter was at an Army retreat in the back woods of Georgia for a leadership training exercise. She had to spend 6 weeks living in the woods in primitive conditions. She called home one weekend and explained she had met one of the men and she was interested in him. She explained, “But because we are not allowed to wear makeup, he really has no idea what I look like.”

I was in Navy boot camp and the food was not at all like at home. Mostly I ate all the snacks and glasses of milk. One day I went through the chow line and all I had was a big piece of cake on my tray. One of the cooks eyed that and asked, “Would you like two pieces of cake, sailor?” I eagerly said, “Yes.” With that the cook leaned over took his knife and cut my cake in half.

Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: “Double my I.Q”…so the mermaid did it and he started reciting Shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said, “Triple my I.Q.”…and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed.  The third fisherman was so impressed that he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said: “Are you sure about that? It will change your whole life!” The fisherman said yes, so the mermaid turned him into a woman.