February 22 Humor

* Victims of a home robbery in Riverview, Florida. Easily picked out Shawn Roberts from police photos. Turns out, there aren’t too many other people with a map of Florida tattooed on their face. Roberts is still pleading not guilty.

* After my friend James moved to Florida from Massachusetts, he immediately took advantage of the good fishing in the area. After assembling the gear that he’d use for freshwater fishing up North, he settled in a popular spot on the intercoastal waterway, attached his favorite lure to his line and cast it out. Within a minute he caught a beautiful 8 pound fish. The local fishermen were gazing in admiration as James brought the big catch ashore and offered it to one of the spectators. Accepting with gratitude, the old man asked, “what kind of bait did you use to land this beauty”? “My favorite silver spinner,” James responded proudly.  “No”, the old-timer exclaimed. “You can’t catch anything on that. You’ve got to use live shrimp.”

@ As my four year old son rode  in the shopping cart he spotted a squirt gun that he had to have. He begged and pleaded with me to buy him the gun. I told him the gun was too easy to break and that we could find a better one at the next store. Jamal was not to be denied. The four year old whined and wheedled to get the squirt gun and he would not be quiet, I gave in and bought him the squirt gun.

We were just getting out of the car at home when Jamal dropped the gun and it shattered when it hit the pavement. I said, “See, what did I tell you, now the gun is broken.” Jamal looked up at me and said, “You shouldn’t listen to me. I am just a kid.”