* I had a Jewish baby delivery: they knocked me out at the first pain and didn’t wake me up until the hairdresser showed.
* The first Jewish woman is elected president, she calls her mother, “I won the election you have got to come to the inauguration ceremony.” “I don’t know, what would I wear?” “Don’t worry, I’ll send you a wonderful dressmaker.” “But how will I get there?” “I’ll send an airplane just for you.” said madam President. Her mother threw back, “but it’s such a mad house at the airport.” “Mama, I’ll send you a limousine to take you to the airport.” “And what will I do when I get to Washington?” “There will be a helicopter waiting. After the ceremony you’ll come with me to a lovely dinner party.” “But you know, I only eat kosher.” “I’ll be sure the food for you is kosher. Just come.” The mother relented, “Okay, okay, if it makes you happy.” The great day comes and Mama, beautifully dressed, is seated between two Supreme Court justices. She nudges the gentleman on the right and says, “You see that girl with one hand on the Bible, her brother is a doctor.”
@ Did you notice last summer that Cuba did not have an Olympic rowing team? That’s because every Cuban who knows how to row already lives in Florida.