Go Ahead, Make My Day

Go Ahead, Make My Day

A man bitten by a shark claims to have taken revenge by catching and eating the shark that left him with 15 stitches. Allen Engelman, a 28-year-old commercial fisherman from Florida, was attacked by a spinner shark as he surfed off the coast of Singer Island.  He returned to the beach with his 5-year-old son the following day, when he says he caught the fish before taking it home to smoke, fillet and eat. He recognized it from the markings on its fin.

One evening, a man came home from work and found his home completely upside down: his three children, still in their pajamas, eating snacks from the fridge, the entrance rug lying on the table, the television in the living room blasting cartoons loudly. The kitchen sink was full of dishes, the leftovers from breakfast were scattered all over the counter, and crumbs covered it as well. The man hurried up the stairs, jumping over toys and piles of clothes, worried that his wife might be sick or that something had happened to her.

When he entered the bedroom, breathless, he found her lying happily in bed while still in her pajamas, reading a book. Hearing his heavy breathing she looked at him, smiled, and asked how his day had been. The surprised man was completely confused and asked his wife, “What happened here today?” The woman smiled at him and replied, “you know how every day when you come home you ask me what the hell I did that day?” “Yes,” replied the man, astonished. “Exactly,” replied the woman, “Today, I didn’t do any of it.”

The mother ran into the bedroom when she heard her seven-year-old son scream. She found his two-year-old sister pulling his hair. Soon, the mother gently released the little girl’s grip and said comfortingly to the boy, “There, there, she didn’t mean it. She doesn’t know that it hurts.” He nodded his acknowledgment, and she left the room. As she started down the hall the little girl screamed. Rushing back in, she asked, “What happened? The little boy replied, “She knows now.”

Working in aviation, I was doing the night shift at a small airport directing the planes in and out. All of a sudden, the radio crackles and I hear a young voice request permission to approach the runway to land. I ask for a name, and he replies, “You guess who?” I turn off the runway lights and say, “You guess where?”