January 1 Humor

* I was teaching a group of immigrants an English as a second language class and we came upon the word “straight.” I wrote the word on the board and asked if anyone knew what that word was. A man raised his hand and said “that word is straight.” I congratulated him on being able to decipher the crazy American spelling and asked him if he knew what the word meant. He said he knew that too. “it means without ginger ale.”

* America is the land that people will risk their lives and cross oceans to come to and then are not willing to stand in line to vote to keep it free.

* My husband, a state trooper, stopped a motorist for speeding. Instead of signing the ticket and continuing on his way, the driver, who said he knew he had been going over the posted limit, insisted on having a court hearing. The appointed day, Fred and the man appeared before the District Magistrate. Found guilty, the motorist happily paid his fine. Outside the courtroom, my husband asked him why he had bothered going to court. “I came to this country from Serbia a few years ago,” the man explained. “I never had the freedom to ask for a hearing. Now I do.”