January 10 Humor

* A courtroom exchange in a McKinney, Texas: DA: “I believe the law is common sensical and this case can be settled on common sense.”  Defense lawyer: “Your honor I am going to object to that remark. I believe that the court will instruct the jury what the law is and common sense is nowhere in the law.”  Judge: “Objection sustained.”

* My wife is an absolute, follow the instructions, by the recipe, baker. But that attention to detail still hasn’t made her chocolate chip cookies taste any better. One day, after the cookies had been in the oven a while I smelled a familiar odor. “The cookies are burning,” I shouted to her. “I know,” she said nonchalantly.. “Aren’t you going to take them out of the oven?” “No. They still have to be in six more minutes.”

@ When my brother Tom bought a new sailboat, he filled out an application for boat insurance. He was asked questions about the boat and himself and was instructed to include a recent photo. He and his wife sifted through a  stack of snapshots and selected one they felt appropriate. Not long after sending in the form, Tom received a letter from the insurer: “Dear Sir, thank you for sending the fine photo of yourself. We do admire your mustache. Now, could you send is an equally appealing picture of the vessel we are to insure?”