January 11 Humor

* I was waiting for Manhattan subway when my attention was diverted by two men in their 20’s engrossed in a conversation just a few feet away one was dressed in a torn heavy metal T-shirt with stringy black hair to skull tattoos on his left calf and a ring through his bottom lip.  The other had greasy blond hair tied in a ponytail, six-ear rings and a coiled snake tattoo on his left forearm. “I finally went out with Kathy last night”, the first man said. “Well, how did it go, Dude,” asked his friend, his hand clutching an open beer in a paper bag. “Awesome”  came the reply. “She is one hot babe who really knows how to party.” “So are you going to see her again”? “No, man”, the first guy answered his exuberance suddenly subdued, “She smokes.”

* A salesman rang the bell at a suburban home. The door was opened by a nine-year-old boy puffing on a long black cigar. Hiding his amazement, salesman asked the young man, “Is your mother home?”   The boy took the cigar out of his mouth, flicked the ashes on the floor and asked, “What do you think?”

@ My granddaughter Shelley was given a used car by her parents and her 16th birthday. Much to her frustration, her father insisted she learned to change a flat tire before he turned over the keys. Eventually Shelley got it right and was permitted to drive to school. One afternoon after class, she discovered she had a flat. Putting up her long hair up in a hat,  slipping on her gloves she set about putting on the spare tire. But the time she finished, she attracted a small, admiring audience. That night three young men from the school called and asked her for a date.