January 12 Humor

* Few things upset my wife. It makes me feel rather special to be one of them.

* When he went to the doctor for a physical examination, Bernie was given an excellent bill of health. “It must run in your family,” commented the doctor. “How old was your dad when he died?”   “What makes you think he’s dead?”asked Bernie. “He is 90 and still going strong.”   “Well, how long did your grandfather live?”   “What makes you think he’s dead?  Grandpa is 106 and getting married to a 22-year-old next week,” Bernie informed him. “At his age,” exclaimed the doctor. “Why does he want to marry such a young woman?” Bernie replied, “What makes you think he wants to?”

@ An English journalist asked the sergeant of police in a Fermahagh country village about the size of his staff. “I have three,” said the sergeant. “With yourself then, that’s four. Surely there isn’t enough work in this small place to keep four of you going?” the reporter asked. “Well,” said the sergeant, “there is not, but if we weren’t here then there would be.”