January 12th Jokes

* Few things upset my wife. It makes me feel rather special to be one of them.

* When he went to the doctor for a physical examination, Bernie was given an excellent bill of health. “It must run in your family,” commented the doctor. “How old was your dad when he died?”   “What makes you think he’s dead?”asked Bernie. “He is 90 and still going strong.”   “Well, how long did your grandfather live?”   “What makes you think he’s dead?  Grandpa is 106 and getting married to a 22-year-old next week,” Bernie informed him. “At his age,” exclaimed the doctor. “Why does he want to marry such a young woman?” Bernie replied, “What makes you think he wants to?”

# Crime must pay otherwise so many politicians wouldn’t be seeking reelection.