January 15th Jokes

A Burger walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’m sorry we don’t serve food here.”

Most people want a perfect relationship. I just want a hamburger that looks like the ones in commercials.

The commander of the C-141 was in a hurry to fly out of the US air base in Thule, Greenland, but everything was working against him. The truck to pump the sewage from the plane was late, and then the airman pumping out the tank was taking his time. The commander harassed the lowly airman, threatening to have him punished. Turning to the officer, the airman said, “I have no stripes, it’s 40° below zero, I’m stationed in Greenland and I’m outside pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just how do you plan to punish me?”

The Mexican government has the best social welfare system in the world. No forms to fill out, open to everyone, cost nothing to run. It is called the US border.