January 2 Humor

* A woman in our town called the police department and complained, “People are speeding on our street. Endangering the lives of children walking to school.” The next morning she herself was stopped for speeding. “But, officer,” she said, “I’m the person called yesterday to tell the police about the speeders.” “Well then, ma’am,” he replied, “handing her a ticket you should be really happy we caught one.”

* There was an older minority state employee driving a dump truck down a New Jersey road at a high rate of speed. The state trooper clocked the truck and pulled him over. The trooper got his license and asked, “Do your know you were going over 60 miles per hour in this truck?”  “No seh, I didn’t know that.”   “Haven’t you got a governor on that truck?”  “No seh, the governor is in Trenton, that is fertilizer that you smell.”

* My brother was alarmingly me by speeding through a red light. I  said “What if the traffic cameras are watching you?”  “Stop worrying,” he sighs, “It doesn’t matter if they are watching or not,” he assured me.  ” I don’t have license plates yet.”