January 22nd Jokes

* Two wives were comparing notes. One said, “My husband talks in his sleep, does yours?” “No, his habit is worse, he just laughs.”

In January 1991, I was being deployed to operation Desert Storm. Before boarding a C-141 transport I had to go through tight security. After a meticulous  x-ray of all my carry-on bags, I removed all metal objects from a uniform was finally able to pass in the metal detector without setting off the alarm. Just out of curiosity, I asked airmen operating a checkpoint, “Why did you make me go through all that?” “We want to be sure you aren’t carrying any weapons on board,” he said, handing me back my M-16 rifle.

An elderly couple stood in the super market’s produce section. The man picked up a bunch of bananas and said to his wife, “these are nice.” “How about some banana nut bread?” I glanced at his spouse and felt sorry for her. She looked tired and I presumed not willing to do any baking. My sympathy  then vanished however when she snapped at him, “I’m sick of banana nut bread, Joe. Can’t you make something else?”