January 24th Jokes

Our chief financial officer was giving a tour of the corporate headquarters to the special group of senior executives from whose bank we had received recently received a loan. As the CFO came to the jewel of the tour, the computer center that had been financed with the bank’s help, he proudly pointed to a small metal box on the wall next to the entrance. “This box,” he boasted, “is part of our new security system. The only way to gain admittance to the computer room is by inserting a properly encoded card in the slot.” He pressed the button next to the box, and the buzzer sounded. His face went pale when a voice from the other side of the door shouting, “Come on in, its open.”

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding convertible on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was as surprised to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights, the trooper turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “Pull over!” “No,” the blonde yelled back, “it’s a scarf.”

The boy scout leader gave instructions to his troops going on a camp out. “If you get lost at night, let the sky be your guide. Walk towards the glow in the sky, that will be the closest shopping center.”