January 27th Jokes

* Name calling and profanity are not tolerated at our Texas junior high school so I was concerned when a student complained that another student had called him the “E” word.  I couldn’t even think of one. “What E word did he call you?”  I asked. He lowered his face voice and eyes and muttered, “idiot”.

One member of the bridge club was wearing a gold locket on a chain around her neck. “That’s lovely,” another player said. “Do keep a more memento in it?”  “I have a lock of my husband’s hair,” replied the first woman. “Oh, but your husband is still alive.” “Yes”, said the first lady, “but his hair is gone.”

@ A coworker announced that she had started a fire in her microwave. She explained: “I needed so many paper towels to absorb the grease when cooking bacon, I thought I’d save money and use newspaper.”   “Did you ruin the oven?” I asked. “Well,” she continued reluctantly, “not the first time.”