January 5 Humor

@ For several years, my job was to answer all of your phone calls and mail concerning the daytime television soap operas our company produced. One day a woman called wanting medical advice from an actor who protrayed a doctor on one of the shows. I explained that the man wasn’t a real doctor and couldn’t help her. After a moment of shocked silence, the woman replied indignantly, “No wonder he takes his patients months to recover.”

@ A new bride was showing her friend the kitchen of her new house. We furnished this kitchen with the savings from soap coupons” the bride proudly said. “With soap coupons?” the friend exclaimed. “What about the other six rooms?”  “All of those,” the bride replied “they are filled with soap.”

* It was a blistering hot afternoon as the old Senator stood on the rear platform of a campaign train talking at length to the uneasy crowd of voters gathered at the railroad station. Before he had completed his speech, the train started to pull out. Immediately the crowd broke into applause, accompanied by cheering and shouting. With the shouts fading off in the distance, the senator poured himself a shot of bourbon and remarked to a reporter: “Know something? I’m not sure whether they were applauding for me or for the engineer.”