January 5th Jokes

@ For several years, my job was to answer all of your phone calls and mail concerning the daytime television soap operas our company produced. One day a woman called wanting medical advice from an actor who portrayed a doctor on one of the shows. I explained that the man wasn’t a real doctor couldn’t help her. After a moment of shocked silence, the woman replied indignantly, “No wonder it takes his patients months to recover.”

You know those women who write love letters to men in prison? Their vote counts just as much as yours.

Warden: “I’m sorry. I find that we have kept you here a week too long.”
Convict: “That’s all right, sir. Knock it off the next time.”