January 7th Jokes

* “So your sister got fired?”   “Yes, but she was going to leave anyway. Her boss is so conceited,– he thinks the words can only be spelled his way.”

@ According to George Burns: it’s easier to make a paid audience laugh. They get dressed up and put on a tie and get in their cars to come and see you. They pay so much that they like you no matter what you do. The audience that doesn’t pay is very critical.

A week after their marriage the redneck newlyweds Bob and Betty Lou, paid a visit to the doctor. “You ain’t going to believe this, Doc,” said the husband. “My thing is turning blue.” “That’s pretty unusual,” said the doctor. “Let me examine you.” The doctor takes a look. Sure enough, the redneck thing was really turning blue. The doctor turns to the wife, “are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed for you?” “Yep, sure am,” she replied brightly. “And what kind of jelly are you using with it?”   “Grape.”