July 14th Humor

@ “Life is Tough on women in Arizona prisons now that they have to work on chain gangs,” says comedian Rosie O’Donnell, “and what’s worse on their stripes are horizontal.”
I always get the same seat at the ball game: between the beer vendor and his best customer.

* My wife was so proud of her recent weight loss and went shopping to buy new clothes in smaller sizes. One day she was wearing her new jeans, and I noticed a sticker on the back of one of the pant legs back listed her size as “Eight Petite”. I took the tag off and handed it to her, she looked at it proudly, then winked and said, “Put it back on.”