July 20th Humor

* In the morning, he remembered he had left two tickets to the Indians baseball game on the dashboard of his car parked on the street. He went out before work to check on them and saw the windshield was smashed. His wife asked, “Did someone steal the tickets?”  He replied, “No worse than that, Somebody left four more.”

@ A banker approaches the pearly gates sweating and struggling with a very heavy suitcase. St. Peter greets him and says “Set down the suitcase and, come on in.” “No way barks the banker, I have to bring it in with me.” “What could possibly be in the suitcase that is so important you brought it into eternity with you”? asked Peter. The banker opens the suitcase to reveal 50 gold bricks. Saint Peter’s jaw drops open and he asks, “you brought pavement?”

My family was just transferred to another duty station in the US and it came time to take my son to the base doctor. A marine in green, black and brown battle camouflage gear with heavy boots sat behind a table and entered the information into a computer.  My son stared at him for a while and then pulled my arm down to whisper in my ear, “Mommy, does he think he is hiding.”