July 27 Humor

@ A haggard man walked into the psychiatrist’s office tore open a cigarette and stuffed the loose tobacco up his nose.  The doctor watched and commented, “I can see that you really need me.”   The man responded, “I sure do, Doc have you got a light.”

@ I was waiting for Manhattan subway when my attention was diverted by two men in their 20s engrossed in a conversation just a few feet away. One was dressed in a torn heavy metal T-shirt with stringy black hair, two skull tattoos on his left calf and a ring through his bottom lip.  The other had greasy blond hair tied in a ponytail, six ear rings and a Coiled snake tattoo on his left forearm. “I finally went out with Kathy last night”, the first man said. “Well, how did it go, dude ask his friend,” his hand clutching an open beer in a paper bag. “Awesome,”  came the reply. “She is one hot babe who really knows how to party.” “So are you going to see her again?” “No, man,”  the first guy answered his exuberance suddenly subdued, “She smokes.”

@ I do not smoke, but sometimes I chew tobacco. If you don’t blow your smoke on me, I won’t spit on you.