July 29th Humor

* The bathtub was invented in 1850 and the telephone in 1875 if you lived in 1850, you could have sent the bathtub for the next 25 years without having the phone ring once.

* I phoned a friend of mine, but got her answering machine. It said: “Hello, this is you know who and we’re not you know where, so you know, leave a message  when this little you know what, beeps and we will know you called.”

After registering for her high school classes my daughter burst into the house, filled with excitement. “Dad,” she announced in one breath, “I got all the classes I wanted. But I have to have my school supplies by tomorrow. I need a protractor and a compass for geometry, a dictionary for English, a dissecting kit for biology and a car for Drivers Ed.”