July 6 Humor

* Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to little children. One day I entered the examining room to give 4-year-old Lizzie a needle. “No, No, No” she screamed. “Lizzie”, scolded her mother, “that’s not polite behavior”. With that the little girl stopped, thought a moment and yelled even louder  “No, thank you” “No, thank you.”

* Dad was training the dog, Sherman, to protect his wife when he was out of town. Every night, after work, he would take the rolled up newspaper and pretend to hit his wife with it and encourage Sherman to get him and stop the attack. After a few days Sherman seemed to get the idea. When dad would pick up the paper and pretend to hit Mom Sherman would jump and bark and bite Dad’s arm and try to pull him away. After a couple of weeks of training Dad was pretty proud of his watch dog. A while later as a test., Dad pretended to hit Mom with his bare hand in front of the dog. Sherman saw what was going on and jumped grabbed the paper and tore it to shreds.

@ Boxing coach: “You did a terrible job out there. If I were as big as you, I would be the heavyweight champion of the world.” Boxer, “Why didn’t you become the lightweight champion?”